Blech

Okay, maybe this early pregnancy not-feeling-so-hot thing was not just a passing thing, and I am not actually a pregnancy goddess, immune to bouts of nausea and gas and general grossness. I feel yucky again today. All I want to do is sit around and drink Sprite with ice. My sister is visiting and we went to Kokoras Grill for dinner (so good!) and all I could do was pick at my salad and try not to look at the ceiling fans for fear of getting dizzy and passing out.

It could have been the Nordstrom sale that did me in, too. I am a bit ashamed to say that I really hardly ever go downtown, so when I venture off of my peninsula for an event so massive as the Anniversary Sale at the flagship store, it is almost too much. Almost. Of course it was an absolute zoo. The women's shoe department looked like a war zone, people were running here and there and up and down the escalators with random clothing and accessory items. I took a number in the kids' shoes department, and waited fifteen minutes for the saleslady to even tell me that they didn't have my daughter's size in the shoe I wanted to get for her. But you know what? I loved every minute of it. I stood there in that great mob and my heart was beating hard and I grabbed at a green Juicy Couture track suit just because everyone else was and held it up to myself for a moment, and my daughter was at the sitter's so I could just look and look and hold pieces of clothing together and see if they made sense, and just enjoy shopping with all of the other frenzied shoppers.

I didn't buy shoes for myself somehow because I am still having this shoe dilemma where I can't seem to find shoes that are actually comfortable that make me look cute and not momsie or like some lady with a walking stick out on her Elder Hostel trek through Turkey. I need help! Flats seem ridiculous to me because I am short, and because all of my jeans are hemmed to be worn with a shoe with a heel. I know that the real fashion mavens have their jeans hemmed to different lengths to go with their various shoe heights, but I simply cannot justify this as a stay-at-home mom. I don't really wear high, high heels anymore, at least not on a daily basis. I think the answer is going to lie in some kind of wedge-heeled shoe, but one that is so comfortable I can wear it all day and not have to think about it. I continue to search.

I didn't actually buy a thing for myself today, unless you'd count the little white kimono outfit I picked up in the children's department today, size 6 months, with a white velvet bow. I'm not so sure this time that I will have a girl, but I wanted to honor the little one growing inside of me with a special gift. If I have a boy I'll take it back and find something else, of course. I think for me it is a token to hold onto through this pregnancy, and a way to remember that this child is its own miracle, deserving of its own recognition and anticipation.